Shadow on the Plain – Pt. 1

Retreat

There’s something hidden here. Insidious, taking root in the erosion of my perception. I feel it, squirming uproariously, undulating with the cacophony of manic thoughts echoing behind heavy lids.

It disrupts my sleep. Calls to me from the fringe of troubled dreams. Such visions it bestows upon me in the refuge of unconscious thought, poisoning the well of sacred vistas unknown to men, seared from memory in the Apollonian light of waking day. Roused from slumber in the midst of dreaming to wander lethargically until the moon steals away the sun once more.

He speaks to me in no language. He speaks of sickness in the hearts of men, tells me to observe them from a careful distance. That something grows beneath their flesh. I can smell it on them, the damp fog of death hanging as morning dew upon a blade of grass. In the fog I see the true face, the dread face of deception and predation.

They will consume me if I am not careful.

I must retreat, find sanctuary in isolation. The only truth I know comes to me in fiction, spoken in the verse of dead men.

Visions of the Dreamscape

I sleep less frequently now, though memory of my nighttime excursions within the dreamscape now persists long beyond rest.

It all seems so real, as if I can feel the placid breeze upon my pallid cheek, perceive the pleasant petrichor emanating from rain doused soil, overhear euphoric melodies of alien birds far off in the distance. This is a realm of serenity, a glade in the forest of chaotic existence.

Mountains rise and fall. Dimensions obscure while time speeds and slows intermittently. Multicolored rain falls in violets and indigos, crashing as glistening gemstones upon a vibrant plane of foreign beauty and life. Illogical creatures of uncertain distinction gallop across the expanse as wild trees bear impossible fruit.

The waters rise. The animals, caught beneath waves, bleat out anguished cries for mercy to no avail. The trees sink beneath cruel water, choked out beneath murky brine. No matter how high those gnarled branches reach they shall never overcome the ocean. Birds, having nowhere to land, fight against their own mortal weakness to remain suspended. Their resolve, ill fated, results in hoarse cries and desperate, slow spirals into the pool.

All life failing and nothing seems to notice.

The sun emerges, blazing cobalt, a sapphire suspended high. It hangs for months, possibly years, burning in a heaven that forsook its dominion. The endless ocean boils and I observe as floating corpses and waterlogged roots turn to putrid soup. The very flesh is scalded from bloated alien carcasses, leaving only distorted skulls smiling fiendishly. The scent of salted meat rises, rendering me queasy.

The waters recede, the endless range transforming to desert, brittle and cracking. Trees, deprived of all moisture, stand as bleached skeletal remains of a fertile period long forgotten to this place.

The ground quakes, splitting, as a towering cyclopean structure emerges from gushing magma and plate tectonics. Dust shrouds the image and it is erected in the open wastes. It juts off in all angles, crystalline, shimmering, and ebony, reflecting no light. Gazing upon the structure leaves one feeling unsettled, bewildered. Any slight alteration in one’s observation disrupts its appearance. It draws me in, yet I cannot move.

The azure flame sits nestled atop the formation, cosmic bust upon a dark pedestal. Compelled, I stare into the blinding light, unblinking, straining against its intensity and solar radiation. The sun becomes agitated, flaring, spitting forth streams of fire. It begins to roll in place, an angry wheel turning, spiraling in savage shades of oranges and reds.

The moon rises from behind the shroud of the stone faced monument, slowly climbing, making its ascent. There’s sorrow in it’s climb, a sincere sense of loneliness. It wishes to meet the sun and kiss it upon its scorched countenance. Desires to be consumed in the oppressive pyre of divine lust. The moon has been deprived so long it suffers the sun’s fury in resignation and relief.

They meet, moon eclipsing sun, obscuring the volatile veneer of the incandescent morning star. The scene grows dark with the exception of a crimson corona which sits atop the obsidian spire like a demoniac eye, over-watching all of existence in all directions possible and not, simultaneously. The moon sinks into the sun, resulting in a violent clash, then explosion. The heavens seem to rattle as the sky appears to tear.

They erupt, splitting to all corners. All directions lie the demon eye. Millions of crimson coronas lining the sky in horrific grandeur.

Their oppressive gaze pervades my essence, slicing to my core. I am but a speck, infinitesimal, a finite consciousness within the palm of boundless aeons. A child in the womb of reality, an insect in a void of things unknown and much greater. Shuddering upon the knowledge of my own feebleness, I observe the cosmic procession of the horrific eyes above.

Flickering as they trace their course through the frontier of incalculable space, these bodies align themselves. A celestial obelisk bearing down in tyrannical majesty. The titanic monolith hovers menacingly above the looming, primeval edifice. These eyes descend in spectacular Hadean hellfire and terrible wrath.

At the center of it all, seated in the lunatic structure, the shadow on the plain emerges, spreading its dark knowledge upon this ravaged land.

Song Demos – Adelaide

Demo Below

Lately I’ve been getting back into playing instruments and writing songs. Due to the virus that has been affecting us all, I’ve had ample opportunity to delve back in and shake off some of the rust that’s built up over time. I’m thinking about putting some of these up now and then, but I’ll see how far I get with these ideas. These are not produced songs, merely poorly recorded, spur of the moment demos that were caught using my phone. They are not the highest quality and I sound tired in some of them because a lot of my ideas come at night, but I’m happy with them for what they are.

This first demo is for a song with the working title “Adelaide.” While writing I started considering working on some sort of concept record, one in which a serial killer, who abducts women, is pursued by a detective/agent looking to bring him to justice. This album would have songs exploring the narrative from the perspective of The Killer, The Victim, and The Detective, describing their various mindsets and experiences.

“Adelaide” details the first day of The Victim’s abduction, narrated by The Killer. I wanted to provide insight to the listener on how this man thinks and approaches his abductees. I also wanted to show how he dehumanizes them and enjoys this feeling of dominance and superiority he gains through these horrendous actions. It also touches on his methodology and location.

If you like this demo and would be interested in more, please like or comment.

Good morning Adelaide it’s been a long time
I cut you from the same cloth and bound you in twine
Ice tears adorn your sweet face like stars in the sky
Deep hidden down in the black choking out your cries

Pet I can’t let you go
You’re on your knees ‘n’ pleading
Sullen eyed defeated
Tail tucked between your legs against the wall

It’s midday Adelaide keep up your strength
I’ll spare no expense go to any length
Thank me now be a good girl fetch this from my hand
Sit heel roll over play dead so fun to command

Pet I can’t let you go
You’re on your knees ‘n’ pleading
Sullen eyed defeated
Tail tucked between your legs against the wall

Good evening Adelaide howl to the moon
It’s shining lovely tonight if you see it you’ll swoon
Short leashed to a drain pipe don’t make a sound
My darling Adelaide you’ll never be found

Pet I won’t let you go
You’re on your knees ‘n’ pleading
Sullen eyed defeated
Tail tucked between your legs against the wall

Momentum – The Cage

Audio Below

This is the final song I contributed during the Tireless Effort sessions six years ago. There are some awkward lyrical choices, but I think it came out with an interesting sound and personality. I provide much of the rhythm guitar and vocals. My cousin, Zack, does the second verse though. He also composed all the instrumentation outside of the basic chords and rhythmic skeleton for the song.

I originally envisioned this track as a more Failuresque outing, but my cousin’s contributions altered the general vibe and atmosphere. It comes through much more lush and breezy than I had once imagined.

I had more songs, but we only had time to record three of mine out of the ten total on the album. I later spent time with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, then returned back to base. Time passed I no longer was able to be part of the project, but there may still be some of those albums spread out there somewhere. It was a fun time and something I hope to do on my own some point in the future.

If you enjoy this, please like or comment.

Here I am facing portraits on the wall
A moment of great despair I recognize no one at all
Where do these people come from I wish they’d disappear
Gripping social anxiety causing me all this fear

The loneliest place in the world can be your mind
Serenity is long gone and peace is hard to find
I’ve held myself back long enough I want to break free
I just want to make it in life just being me

Zack:
Though I’ve been released from this cage
My mind has been withered away
Now every waking moment of my life is suffocation
The more I struggle the more I feel life’s domination

The loneliest place in the world can be your mind
Serenity is long gone and peace is hard to find
I’ve held myself back long enough I want to break free
I just want to make it in life just being me

Interlude

Outro
The loneliest place in the world can be your mind

Momentum – Changes

Audio Below

This is another song off the Tireless Effort album. This is my personal favorite of my songs from that period of time in 2014. In a lot of ways this song still expresses how I feel and experience the world. In many ways I fall short of the changes I want to see in the world, but I keep reaching in my own way.

I perform vocals and the majority of the guitar on this track, but the Claptony solo is put on display by my cousin, Zack Bishop. I think that solo really fits on top of the more abrasive playing at the end and believe it makes the song sound much better as a result. He also provides backing vocals which I think gives the song a fuller sound.

All in all, it’s not a perfect track. I had a lot of trouble performing with someone else around and made many mistakes, but I am happy with the end result and still play this song on occasion. I hope you listen and enjoy this amateur outing.

Please like or comment if you like what you hear.

I once dreamed of a better tomorrow
Instead I woke in a bed of sorrow
Blackened eyes absorbing all the light
I’ll try to hold my head up high

I won’t give up until you’ve given in
I’ll reach for the stars and do it again
I can’t be content with life just the way it is
I’ll keep on working til I see some changes

I wish more was expected
From those who have infected
Society is failing rapidly
Culture is still degrading

I won’t give up until you’ve given in
I’ll reach for the stars and do it again
I can’t be content with life just the way it is
I’ll keep on working til I see some changes

Bridge/Solo

I won’t give up until you’ve given in
I’ll reach for the stars and do it again
I can’t be content with life just the way it is
I’ll keep on working til I see some changes

Momentum – Square One

Audio Below

This is a song from way back in 2014, written while I was still enlisted. I was feeling pretty low at the time, so I started writing songs a bit more. I’d recently been given an old, beat up, workhorse of an acoustic guitar. A stocky Fender FA-100.

A buddy of mine, stationed at Fort Carson, had given it to me realizing I’d need something to keep my mind clear. I had a girlfriend at the time and always had stage fright around people hearing me play or sing, even those close to, so I’d do so softly early in the morning before she’d rise. This lasted til she caught me one morning, so I started being slightly less discreet afterwards.

These are early projects, so the lyrics are definitely a bit spotty on my end. I’ve never been a virtuoso, enjoying the process more than the craft, so my playing is pretty simple. There’s honesty in there though.

“Square One” was an attempt at synthesizing my anger into a song, though it comes across a bit hamfisted and laughable at times. I should have tailored the lyrics more, that’s for sure. I find it angsty in a sophomoric sort of way, but still find some charm and good humor in it. Aggressive vocals have never been easy, so the vocals are supplied by my cousin, Zack Bishop. He also developed the instrumentals on the track.

This was put forth under the Momentum banner, a collaborative project consisting of just myself and Zack. As things go my contributions would be lessened over time due to other pressing matters on my end, but continues as a solo project for my cousin. Despite that, I have good memories of the Tireless Effort sessions and want to share this old material with you all.

Any feedback is appreciated. Please like or subscribe if you enjoy it.

I’ll break in your walls I’ll cave in your ceiling
I’ll bring down the weight of the world I’m past the point of forgiving
I’m letting my…[Indecipherable on recording]… I think it’s time to let them be
Only ash will remain I won’t refrain
You’ll see

Time to start over erase what we have become
Time to start over starting back from square one
Time to start over erase what we have become
Time to start over starting back from square one

Fires rage building fall as we recede into the sea
Disease welcomed and desired to purge us from history
We do not deserved what we have gained we’ve squandered it away
And most people will never correct their ways

Time to start over erase what we have become
Time to start over starting back from square one
Time to start over erase what we have become
Time to start over starting back from square one

Interlude/Solo

Time to start over erase what we have become
Time to start over starting back from square one
Time to start over erase what we have become
Time to start over starting back from square one

Where the Streams Meet

echoes in the timid chamber

titian avarice

pulses in wait

preying on fresh drops

to fall from bleating gash

chest wounds

squirming artists

lost in the shuffle

voiding the hole of its precious fluid

purple as

their prose

leaching whatever granules of inspiration

diluted

or fermented over time

tigris euphrates

venous arterial

silt stream of

consciousness

all rivers

flow into one another

depositing debris

Whitewash

these walls are weeping

bleeding wide rivers of tar

hidden beneath waxen weathered paint

how the steam of thick moisture reveals

what’s buried in layers

escapes such furtive eyes

at first glance

will rise

like cream from the belly of

a stagnant pool

assaulting my vision

an affront to good taste

brown strands

cascading in desperation

for an ounce of

recognition

perhaps they’ll continue

running

raining thick noxious vapors

tracing down whitewashed walls

til it floods and

sucks us ‘neath

no matter how much

nor how long

you go on scrubbing

there’s always something

a little deeper