Breakfast Blend

i brewed a carafe of coffee

french pressed

and piping hot

i kept the top removed from the kettle

then turned the corresponding dial

on the electric stove

i leaned upon the venting unit

and stared as the element changed

the sooty slate-like coloring erupted

emerging from faded ruby to

an angry maraschino

i stared

unyielding

into that pot

listened as the metal strained

as the water burbled and popped

agitated and disturbed

by the vehement calefaction

i let the steam rise to my flesh

observed the bubbles frenetically emerging

dropping the grounds into the press

retrieving the kettle from the stove

evenly applying the scalding fluid

as a small almond head appeared atop

then set aside to bloom

finally

stirring and preparing to steep

i poured the brew into the stainless mug

bending my neck to breathe in the breakfast blend melange of

citrus and brown sugar

i sipped

then gulped

then pounded back

poured another

kept at it til it hurt

felt pain in my chest

heart beating fast and hard

mind turning frantic

paranoia digging in sharp talons

dissolving my gut in acid

i didn’t feel tired the rest of the day

didn’t sleep that night

i made a new pot that next morning

Pioneer Spirits

pioneer spirits

take to the plains once more

you’ve stood your ground too long

seek out

new

unexplored avenues

scale hills and mountaintops

gaze upon a world spread out before you

taste the unknown

fruits of exploration

toss aside the compass of expectation

pursue the stars of your constellation

let your prairie soul roam free

blaze a trail of your own making

drink deep

the fresh water lakes of opportunity

take root

where your heart finds peace

Neon Souls

flashpan neon souls

igniting

the world

electric smiles

buzzing

loud

amidst the quiet

subdued

stoic

existence

baring puffed chests in the presence

of deflated gasbags

and disapproving glares

screaming

in ecstasy

hot blood flushing their cheeks

blooming roses

in stone gardens

barren

untilled

salted soil

screaming life

from the rafters of a deserted stage

refusing

to let the curtains be drawn

to be dragged

from the heat of the spotlight

preening blazing pink feathers

posing

in defiance of the stifling mass

Harvest

threshing commences

elegant flair of a flippant wrist

flailing upon delicate stalks of fruiting grain

beneath the sun is closing

growing dim in the dying days of warmth

drawing shades on another passing moment

greeting the moon

claustrophobic entombment of the granary

no malice

in this action

merely nature

unencumbered by passion or bias

removed

unattached and clinical in approach

Island Heart

she bids adieu

to sun bleached shores

slinking through sand

before sunrise

chilly opalescence

shimmering pale morning light

breathing deep the nautical breeze

gazing off to distant lands

beyond the horizon

far from where her passion lies

shipwrecked heart

tossed unto island seclusion

suffering rays of a sun which

disrupts the darkness

confronting the hidden

alone with herself

her lurid thoughts

billowing foam on the grey matter of

her reality

no longer sure of the distinction

between truth and fabrication

cobbling together a makeshift raft

but too afraid

to christen the patchwork vessel

and mount the waves

too far removed

to trace a signal in the sand

to call out to a passing ship

opting instead

to burn in the sun

drinking thalassic brine

seized by cramps

succumbing at last

to the elements

Brother Julius

tell me

brother julius

of nights spent in the open

beneath quilted darkness

damp heat in the wee hours

lost and ignored in a street lamp solar system

how you wandered deep into desolate

suburban wastes

resting affluence

of noctilucent methane clouds

hanging cold on the edge of night

satin sprawled amidst dead heaven

how you paced past dilapidated store fronts

lost yourself among the faded grandeur of ancient courthouses and mailboxes

stared into the gaping maw of existence at twilight

far from the ethereal glow of a city corrupting the abyssal vastness suspended above

how touched you were

gazing

into those shimmering perforations in the fabric of night

how insignificant you felt in those sacred moments

to then retreat

in silence

you slept in graveyards

feeling more at ease with those that no longer drew breath

some nights it would be a plot

others

sprawled atop a mausoleum

lulled to slumber by insect lullabies

now

you work a trade

and bought a home

rising and setting with the sun

The Sun in Summer

sanguine summer sun

august above

the minted morass

hazy

sweltering heat

humid smog

opaques

obscuring

butter churned rays

smeared

saffron and cream

setting in orange

glazed

oil paint

vermillion yolk

frozen

stretching out wild in

feeble ripples

still waters disturbed

caught beneath

the thrust of

mayflies

pirouetting

then

passing on

Shadow on the Plain – Pt. 1

Retreat

There’s something hidden here. Insidious, taking root in the erosion of my perception. I feel it, squirming uproariously, undulating with the cacophony of manic thoughts echoing behind heavy lids.

It disrupts my sleep. Calls to me from the fringe of troubled dreams. Such visions it bestows upon me in the refuge of unconscious thought, poisoning the well of sacred vistas unknown to men, seared from memory in the Apollonian light of waking day. Roused from slumber in the midst of dreaming to wander lethargically until the moon steals away the sun once more.

He speaks to me in no language. He speaks of sickness in the hearts of men, tells me to observe them from a careful distance. That something grows beneath their flesh. I can smell it on them, the damp fog of death hanging as morning dew upon a blade of grass. In the fog I see the true face, the dread face of deception and predation.

They will consume me if I am not careful.

I must retreat, find sanctuary in isolation. The only truth I know comes to me in fiction, spoken in the verse of dead men.

Visions of the Dreamscape

I sleep less frequently now, though memory of my nighttime excursions within the dreamscape now persists long beyond rest.

It all seems so real, as if I can feel the placid breeze upon my pallid cheek, perceive the pleasant petrichor emanating from rain doused soil, overhear euphoric melodies of alien birds far off in the distance. This is a realm of serenity, a glade in the forest of chaotic existence.

Mountains rise and fall. Dimensions obscure while time speeds and slows intermittently. Multicolored rain falls in violets and indigos, crashing as glistening gemstones upon a vibrant plane of foreign beauty and life. Illogical creatures of uncertain distinction gallop across the expanse as wild trees bear impossible fruit.

The waters rise. The animals, caught beneath waves, bleat out anguished cries for mercy to no avail. The trees sink beneath cruel water, choked out beneath murky brine. No matter how high those gnarled branches reach they shall never overcome the ocean. Birds, having nowhere to land, fight against their own mortal weakness to remain suspended. Their resolve, ill fated, results in hoarse cries and desperate, slow spirals into the pool.

All life failing and nothing seems to notice.

The sun emerges, blazing cobalt, a sapphire suspended high. It hangs for months, possibly years, burning in a heaven that forsook its dominion. The endless ocean boils and I observe as floating corpses and waterlogged roots turn to putrid soup. The very flesh is scalded from bloated alien carcasses, leaving only distorted skulls smiling fiendishly. The scent of salted meat rises, rendering me queasy.

The waters recede, the endless range transforming to desert, brittle and cracking. Trees, deprived of all moisture, stand as bleached skeletal remains of a fertile period long forgotten to this place.

The ground quakes, splitting, as a towering cyclopean structure emerges from gushing magma and plate tectonics. Dust shrouds the image and it is erected in the open wastes. It juts off in all angles, crystalline, shimmering, and ebony, reflecting no light. Gazing upon the structure leaves one feeling unsettled, bewildered. Any slight alteration in one’s observation disrupts its appearance. It draws me in, yet I cannot move.

The azure flame sits nestled atop the formation, cosmic bust upon a dark pedestal. Compelled, I stare into the blinding light, unblinking, straining against its intensity and solar radiation. The sun becomes agitated, flaring, spitting forth streams of fire. It begins to roll in place, an angry wheel turning, spiraling in savage shades of oranges and reds.

The moon rises from behind the shroud of the stone faced monument, slowly climbing, making its ascent. There’s sorrow in it’s climb, a sincere sense of loneliness. It wishes to meet the sun and kiss it upon its scorched countenance. Desires to be consumed in the oppressive pyre of divine lust. The moon has been deprived so long it suffers the sun’s fury in resignation and relief.

They meet, moon eclipsing sun, obscuring the volatile veneer of the incandescent morning star. The scene grows dark with the exception of a crimson corona which sits atop the obsidian spire like a demoniac eye, over-watching all of existence in all directions possible and not, simultaneously. The moon sinks into the sun, resulting in a violent clash, then explosion. The heavens seem to rattle as the sky appears to tear.

They erupt, splitting to all corners. All directions lie the demon eye. Millions of crimson coronas lining the sky in horrific grandeur.

Their oppressive gaze pervades my essence, slicing to my core. I am but a speck, infinitesimal, a finite consciousness within the palm of boundless aeons. A child in the womb of reality, an insect in a void of things unknown and much greater. Shuddering upon the knowledge of my own feebleness, I observe the cosmic procession of the horrific eyes above.

Flickering as they trace their course through the frontier of incalculable space, these bodies align themselves. A celestial obelisk bearing down in tyrannical majesty. The titanic monolith hovers menacingly above the looming, primeval edifice. These eyes descend in spectacular Hadean hellfire and terrible wrath.

At the center of it all, seated in the lunatic structure, the shadow on the plain emerges, spreading its dark knowledge upon this ravaged land.

Song Demos – Adelaide

Demo Below

Lately I’ve been getting back into playing instruments and writing songs. Due to the virus that has been affecting us all, I’ve had ample opportunity to delve back in and shake off some of the rust that’s built up over time. I’m thinking about putting some of these up now and then, but I’ll see how far I get with these ideas. These are not produced songs, merely poorly recorded, spur of the moment demos that were caught using my phone. They are not the highest quality and I sound tired in some of them because a lot of my ideas come at night, but I’m happy with them for what they are.

This first demo is for a song with the working title “Adelaide.” While writing I started considering working on some sort of concept record, one in which a serial killer, who abducts women, is pursued by a detective/agent looking to bring him to justice. This album would have songs exploring the narrative from the perspective of The Killer, The Victim, and The Detective, describing their various mindsets and experiences.

“Adelaide” details the first day of The Victim’s abduction, narrated by The Killer. I wanted to provide insight to the listener on how this man thinks and approaches his abductees. I also wanted to show how he dehumanizes them and enjoys this feeling of dominance and superiority he gains through these horrendous actions. It also touches on his methodology and location.

If you like this demo and would be interested in more, please like or comment.

Good morning Adelaide it’s been a long time
I cut you from the same cloth and bound you in twine
Ice tears adorn your sweet face like stars in the sky
Deep hidden down in the black choking out your cries

Pet I can’t let you go
You’re on your knees ‘n’ pleading
Sullen eyed defeated
Tail tucked between your legs against the wall

It’s midday Adelaide keep up your strength
I’ll spare no expense go to any length
Thank me now be a good girl fetch this from my hand
Sit heel roll over play dead so fun to command

Pet I can’t let you go
You’re on your knees ‘n’ pleading
Sullen eyed defeated
Tail tucked between your legs against the wall

Good evening Adelaide howl to the moon
It’s shining lovely tonight if you see it you’ll swoon
Short leashed to a drain pipe don’t make a sound
My darling Adelaide you’ll never be found

Pet I won’t let you go
You’re on your knees ‘n’ pleading
Sullen eyed defeated
Tail tucked between your legs against the wall

Momentum – The Cage

Audio Below

This is the final song I contributed during the Tireless Effort sessions six years ago. There are some awkward lyrical choices, but I think it came out with an interesting sound and personality. I provide much of the rhythm guitar and vocals. My cousin, Zack, does the second verse though. He also composed all the instrumentation outside of the basic chords and rhythmic skeleton for the song.

I originally envisioned this track as a more Failuresque outing, but my cousin’s contributions altered the general vibe and atmosphere. It comes through much more lush and breezy than I had once imagined.

I had more songs, but we only had time to record three of mine out of the ten total on the album. I later spent time with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, then returned back to base. Time passed I no longer was able to be part of the project, but there may still be some of those albums spread out there somewhere. It was a fun time and something I hope to do on my own some point in the future.

If you enjoy this, please like or comment.

Here I am facing portraits on the wall
A moment of great despair I recognize no one at all
Where do these people come from I wish they’d disappear
Gripping social anxiety causing me all this fear

The loneliest place in the world can be your mind
Serenity is long gone and peace is hard to find
I’ve held myself back long enough I want to break free
I just want to make it in life just being me

Zack:
Though I’ve been released from this cage
My mind has been withered away
Now every waking moment of my life is suffocation
The more I struggle the more I feel life’s domination

The loneliest place in the world can be your mind
Serenity is long gone and peace is hard to find
I’ve held myself back long enough I want to break free
I just want to make it in life just being me

Interlude

Outro
The loneliest place in the world can be your mind